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The future family Unit-All Married Together

Marriage - I want to marry three men, six women,  four children ( ages ranging from seven to ten), two dogs and a mule. And I want insurance and benefits for all of them. You do not like it, hate crime!!! Go to jail, get fined.

I Mean... After All... Sexual Orientation Is Flexible, Right?

Hey everyone, this is my coming out notice. I have decided to CHANGE MY GENDER! (We all know from the many great organizations out there that our gender is not fixed! It is FLUID like our constitution. NOW, HRC, ACLU, Planned Parenthood, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and so many more…)

Hoorah for me!

I am no longer to be considered a monogamous heterosexual male. From this point on, I am to be recognized as a "Multi-All-Inclusive-Do-Anything-Do-Anybody-You-Must-Tolerate-Me-Sexual". This is how I perceive my sexual orientation. You will love me and must accept me for whom I truly see myself to be.

What, you never heard of a "Multi-All-Inclusive-Do-Anything-Do-Anybody-You-Must-Tolerate-Me-Sexual"? No I am not homosexual. No, I am not BI-sexual. Quit trying to limit my freedoms!

I want to have a loving, multidirectional, multifaceted marital relationship with the ones I choose to love.

These are:

Male: Steve, Jack and John
Female: Judy, Jane, Elizabeth, Sally, Erica and Hillary
Children: Peter (male age 7), Jonathon (male age 9), Samantha (female age 10) and Jill (female age 9)
Canis familiaris: Spot (male age 3, Doberman) and Fife (female age 1 ˝, french poodle)
Mule: Pedro (age 7)

We are planning a big happy wedding ceremony; all my best friends will be invited. Bill, Hillary, Ted, Barbara B. You know the crowd. (Great people. Oh that Ted is a kicker at parties when he starts getting juiced up!)

We deserve to have a happy legal marriage and all the benefits that come with it, such as:

We deserve full medical and dental insurance, as well as other normal benefits, from our employers for our entire family.

Hospitals must allow me to make decisions and visitations for all my family.

We must be allowed jointly to adopt new children, pets and livestock.

We must be allowed public housing on universities.

My entire family must be considered surviving partners if one of us doesn’t have a will and dies.

We deserve Tax Benefits, Filing joint income tax returns with the IRS and state taxing authorities. The right to create a "family partnership" under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.

We demand all school children be taught, from preschool through college graduation, that we are a normal loving family. They must be forcibly taught that anyone who disagrees with our family’s lifestyles are terrible, hurtful, hateful bigots who should be locked away from decent people. We deserve to be protected from bullying and name-calling.

We demand that we have equal representation for the "Multi-All-Inclusive-Do-Anything-Do-Anybody-You-Must-Tolerate-Me-Sexual" on all aspects television, radio, movie and print. This means at least five prime time sitcoms, three to five major motion pictures per season, and daily mention in the news media.

If American Idol does not find one of our very talented "Multi-All-Inclusive-Do-Anything-Do-Anybody-You-Must-Tolerate-Me-Sexual"’s to be THE American Idol, they must be thoroughly chastised in the press, and maybe sued by our great friends over at the ACLU.

"Multi-All-Inclusive-Do-Anything-Do-Anybody-You-Must-Tolerate-Me-Sexual"ism must become a protected lifestyle, this is a civil rights issue. We must not be discriminated against in any way. Laws must be passed protecting us from anyone who disagrees with us. Our liberty is at stake!

Our family unit is larger than most, so we will fall well below the government described poverty line. Due to this, we deserve (and demand) equal access to child care, Medicare, welfare, unemployment, food stamps and any other wonderful social program we find out there that will give us what we deserve: free money.

Your churches must also accept us. We will not allow intolerance from the pulpit. Any church that does not immediately and wholeheartedly accept us into their congregation will have their leaders arrested for hate crimes against us. We do not care that God says what we are doing is SIN… we love one another. Is not God all about LOVE??? You best be LOVING us or we will get the government to make you, religious God fearing bigots!

Your Church leaders better step up and get ready for some BIG weddings. When we come down the aisle, it is a true parade!

So, now I am out of the closet.

Are you loving me? Are you respecting me?

No? [Screams: Hey ACLU, we got another one we can sue! Send in the litigators and make sure our bank account can handle another couple hundred grand from this bigoted reader!]

www.alainsnewsletter.com/s/spip.php?article199